The Quiet Hills Convalescent Home.
We join Phil Chambers on his first day of work as an orderly. He reports to staff member M. T. Potts.
Potts: You the new guy?
[Sudden screaming heard down the hall.]
Chambers: What’s that?
Potts: Oh. That’s just Mr. Gore.
Chambers: Who’s this Chad person he’s calling? Is that his son?
Potts: I think it must be his daughter. He talks about her dimples all the time. She must have lots of kids too. He talks about her being pregnant a lot.
Potts: He’s a real pain in the butt. Every day it’s the same thing. I go to get his dinner tray, he throws a bed pan at me and yells, ‘Give it back Governor Bush! It was intended for me!’
Chambers: What’s that all about?
Potts: I don’t know. But he usually cries the rest of the day. He often screams out, “It’s mine!” And starts calling for Mr. Boies and Mr. Daley.
Chambers: Who are they?
Potts: Old man Daley used to stay down the hall. He died several years ago. He used to say the strangest things. I remember the day he died. He looked straight at me and said; “Don’t think for a minute this will stop me from voting!”
Chambers: And that other guy. What was his name? Boy
Potts: Boies. I think he used to be a lawyer or something. I hear he was disbarred a long time ago, though. He finally quit coming around. Until he did though it was the same thing each time. He would say something about there being no more appeals and Mr. Gore would try to hit him with his cane.
Chambers: Sounds strange.
Potts: You think their strange, you should see this other guy that sometimes comes around. Car something. Cartown? Carville! That’s it. Really weird looking bald old man. He comes in stands at the end of Mr. Gore’s bed, points at him and laughs like some kind of hyena.
Chambers: Does he say anything?
Potts: Oh yeah. He babbles on non-stop for about an hour, but nobody can understand him. I don’t think he speaks English.
Chambers: Weird. Who was this Gore guy anyway?
Potts: I don’t know. I think he was Vice President once.
Chambers: Really? Under who?
Potts: Clinton, I think.
Chambers: The former Chancellor of Oxford?
Chambers: Wow. Did they ever figure out what caused that gonorrhea plague there back in 2001?
Chambers: I guess the government must pay for Mr. Gore’s bills here, huh.
Potts: No, actually the local Buddhist monastery pays for it.
Potts: Yeah. A monk comes by each month with a check from some Chinese bank.
Potts: Well. Come along. It’s time for Mr. Gore’s enema. Oh but don’t call it that around Mr. Gore! We have to call it, ‘stuffing the ballot box’!